It’s shit like finding old slides of your dead grandpa looking Don Draper as hell and realizing everybody’s outsides betray their insides. When you’re a geezer, you’re not old inside, you’re still the same badass you driving a dune buggy in cowboy boots, but young people don’t see that. When you’re a teenager, you’re not young inside, you’re 1,000 times more aware and mature and intelligent than adults give you credit for, but old people don’t see that.
"What’s your greatest fear?"
"Getting a lobotomy."
this is what happens when you go to school to learn. you come home with irrational fears. similarly, mine at this age was getting trepanned. we should all just stop going to school.
the only thing you need to know about public school is that people go hard as shit during classroom jeopardy review games. there are no friends here
Let Me Poop to the music of Disneys Let It Go by EMILY MANDELBAUM
This is what happens when you spend 3 hours riding the bus to and from school each day, memorize what the 5th graders are singing because you think they’re cool, and then go home and record what you think is a solid gold popularity hit in the privacy of your bedroom. Hits that would’ve been recorded in the 80’s and 90’s had we had our own computers and cameras include:
1. Paul Revere - Beastie Boys
2. Rump Shaker - Wreckx-n-Effect
3. Diarrhea Cha Cha Cha (all the verses) - Author unknown
4. The Greatest Love of All - Whitney Houston
Music video by Milli Vanilli performing Baby Don’t Forget My Number. (C) 1988 BMG Berlin Musik GmbH/MCI
If I had a bucket list, #5 would definitely be spotting two men wearing these outfits and body rolling together in the club circa the 4:04 mark and then getting in the middle of their sandwich.
1991 release from their self titled album Courtesy of Impact Records
Wow, Bronson Pinchot can really sing.